An old list

I’ve seen a new list go around about “things you don’t understand about silicon valley”. link

I remember a similar list that went around in 2000, right in the middle of the first boom. I updated it with the ‘new reality’ of 2001.

You now know you work in Silicon Valley when…

  • Old – You make $100,000 a year, yet still can’t find a place to live.
  • New – Unemployment Insurance is only $800/month, which only will pay your car payment so you consider staying a few nights in a homeless shelter to get away from sleeping in your bmw.
  • Old – Your commute time is 45 minutes and you live 8 miles away from work.
  • New – Your commute would be now only 15 minutes, if you still had that job. Now you trek over 45 miles and your commute is 1 1/2 hours.
  • Old – You stop asking how much things cost but, ask “How long will it take?”
  • New – You start asking, “how long will it take to earn the money to buy that?”, when you look at a $55 walkman.
  • You know vast differences between Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese,
    Cantonese, and Korean food.
  • You haven’t had sushi in months, your Vietnamese is now just Pho because its under $5 for a bowl, and your Cantonese is limited to “2 items for $3.99 with coupon” specials at the nearest mall .
  • Your home computer contains mostly hardware/software that is not on the consumer market yet.
  • Your home computer’s ‘pro’ hardware made it to the consumer market 2 years ago, was in the bargain bin last year and now you get snickers from the geeks at Office Depot when you mention what you have.
  • You go to “The City” on weekends but don’t live there because you like your car.
  • You try to avoid the city, because it’s getting pretty quiet and you can’t afford the caltrain fare.
  • You think that “I’m going to Fry’s” is an acceptable excuse to leave the office for a while, and your boss does too.
  • You haven’t been to Fry’s in so long, you can’t remember what theme the Palo Alto store is.
  • You lost your alarm clock. You’ll get to work when you get there.
  • You have 3 alarm clocks set, so that you can get early to the job fair and avoid the 3 hour long line.
  • You go to an industrial-heavy-metal bar and see two guys get into a fight over what flavor of Unix is better.
  • You see this at bus stops now.
  • You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have hardware/software companies printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
  • You rue the day you went to the trade show and didn’t take every shirt that was given.
  • Even though Microsoft employs quite a few programmers in the Bay Area, they only work on Powerpoint, and the company is still the embodiment of Satan.
  • Still holds true
  • …Even if their stock IS worth more than yours.
  • The idea that stock is worth Anything, causes you and your peers to fall down laughing.
  • You see a billboard that says “FPGA2ASIC” and aren’t fazed.
  • You wistfully remember the gardens.com billboard on 101, and now just look at the GM, radio station and McDonald’s billboards that are like those in every other city.
  • When you need the updated Diamond Monster 3D drivers, you just walk across the street.
  • Given the stability of your computer as mentioned above, you haven’t
    thought about drivers in 18 months.
  • You have more bandwidth in your apartment or condo than most major
    universities.
  • The $500 you used to pay for bandwidth was canceled because your ISP went out of business, you went for DSL but before they delivered the new ISP went out of business, now you pay $9.95 for dialup like everyone else in the country.
  • None of the people you work with are bible thumpers.
  • The hard times converted you 8 months ago.
  • When you stand in line at Starbucks you wonder why the employees don’t have headhunters.
  • You apply for a job at the same Starbucks yet get turned down because you’re one of the 200 applicants who’s only skill is aeron chair configuration.
  • Your workplace vending machines dispense “100% natural twig-bars” right next to Jolt cola and Instant Espresso mix.
  • Your happiest day in the last 7 months was when you found the vending machines took Canadian quarters.
  • Your new car is older than your new job.
  • Your new car is older than you.

You used to joke to newbies to Silicon Valley about living in East Palo Alto, but now you’re giving it serious thought.

You are comforted that at least you we weren’t hit as hard as all the other
Silicon Valley wannabe’s (Silicon Alley etc.)

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